I’m sorry. The rhyme here is really strained (rhyming soul with soul, wastefulness with hopefulness) and the lines are not all in the same rhythm. It’s different to mine but way too different.
Wow hostile…… but ok this was meant to counter her poem not to be exact rhyme scheme and all. My poem is through the males perspective to her poem. Nd does what I rate myself really matter it should be on what you feel my poem should be rated………..
I don’t feel like I’m being hostile, more transmitting my pet peeve of awkward rhyming, such as soul and soul, or -ness and -ness, and even more so with the spine and pride. Also, just in my opinion, people shouldn’t rate themselves, because it throws off the average and people could be drawn to this story as it is rated high when it isn’t worth the marks. Also, I have nothing against the rest of the story aside from the rhyming. I don’t so much connect with the narrator, but I find it a fairly good read overall.
ElshaHawk (LoA)
{DARCH}Loa
Wednesday [PJ] ((LoA))
{DARCH}Loa
H.S. Wift
{DARCH}Loa
{DARCH}Loa
H.S. Wift
{DARCH}Loa