That’s dark, but very good. The tone of the piece is dark and moody but you don’t really get the hammer-punch of hopelessness until the last line. Then, we the readers know something that (I think) the digger does not yet know. Or maybe he suspects in some corner of his mind. This hole has only one purpose, and it will be filled soon enough. Excellent ending to a really atmospheric piece.

Digging ones own grave, an apt entry to the impossible challenge.

I love the tone of this piece. It mirrors the hopelessness of the situation. The one line that feels out of place is “he was taken away to hospital”. I felt disappointed by that. I’d rather not have known what happened to the one who tried to take the shovel.

Very well written and enjoyable.

Thanks Scroungre.

Thanks to both of you for the kind remarks. I’m new to Ficly, and this is the first of my stories that has commentary! Yay!

I knew what the ending would be as soon as I read the challenge, and I knew it would hit like an unseen freight train, so I edited and rewrote and edited some more to try to set it up. I’m not sure I entirely succeeded – It still comes as a wallop. Perhaps that’s a good thing in very short stories.

Our hero isn’t exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer, he knows that, and isn’t ambitious over his abilities, yet he’s got some idea what’s going on. The remark, “I did not kill him” is, in a way, supposed to imply that he knows what really happens in "The Hospital”, and what will be eventually his fate as well.

Scr.

Great story, very harrowing.

I really liked this, the rhythm really drew me in.