So, the ending bothers me. I sacrificed a lot of possible story for description and emotion in this piece, and when I got to the end I wanted to cinch the emotion in, add another layer of story, and ran out of room.

i like the ending =) and i hate it when that happens. let me make sure i got this, the grandma died? if so this is a rly good short story for the challenge.

Yeah she died. Supposedly nefariously, what with the police crawling about, though how or why she died, I’ll leave up to you!

Sounds like gramdma’s feather bed.
Why are grandma’s so comforting? (good challenge)lol. And yes I would leave it as is.

Great work as always. I was a little confused at first- I thought one of the younger girls had died, though that might be more because I have just finished “The Lovely Bones” but upon rereads, and comments it became clearer that the Grandmother had died. And room is almost always hard to come by in a ficly! We should petition for the next size up. |}{| Apparently the next size up is 1024^3 which is a lot. So maybe not. Anyway always a pleasure Elsha! Cheers!