I should probably note that this piece is a slight rewrite of a piece I wrote called the build up.

I found this to be a good description of a crumbling sense of self.

It reminds me of ‘Heavy Rain’ and Jayden trying to go cold turkey. At times it felt a little vague, I’m not really sure that I completely get what’s going on with the character, however the impossibleness (that’s a word, right?) of her situation comes through very clearly.

Thanks Code db.

Not bad. The sentence structure is a bit jilting, but I like the “lunch departing” and the last sentence of the third paragraph.