Absolutely brilliant. A truly breath taking, lump in throat making, impeccable piece you’ve crafted here. I love it.

This is utterly beautiful. I think I am the one who’s “Always There” to several people. I’m too nice. (Quiet all who actually know me!) But on a more related topic, to quote the home of Spartacus, Bravo.

I’m afraid that I’m going to be a bit more harsh than the previous reviewers. Let me start off by saying how much I agree with and appreciate the sentiment that went into this poem. However, there were things that to me didn’t seem quite right. Firstly, the meter of the poem itself suggests a certain lightness that I don’t see as harmonious with the content. You have something serious to say, but you say it in a very sing-song way. Given as well that some of the lines seem rushed (‘to comfort through the pounding rain’), I’d suggest using using a meter with 5 or 6 feet to the line rather than the 4 that you used.

I also find some of the lines a bit odd, lines 1, 5, 12, and 17 in particular. #17 in particular is patently false since the entire poem shows care. I suspect you meant something slightly different that simply didn’t come across.

I have no right to ask, but would you accept a personal challenge related to this poem? Would you consider writing a new version in pentameter? If not, could I?

@PJ In the title, spare for spear?

@H.S. Bravo is Thracian? Really?

@August, I don’t really have all that much time on my hands but feel free to write a better version.