Maybe its me, but it took me a moment to get that “them” referred to his eyes in the last sentence of the first paragraph.

I also had a hard time picturing a window in that alley he could see his reflection in, not when slumped down against a wall. I would expect most windows wouldn’t be at ground level.

Still, an interesting start to something.

I took a minute or two to think about this one when I’d finished reading it. I agree that there are a few technical mistakes (that can be easily fixed) but they don’t distract from the final line.

This character is dead in an alley but he (I’m assuming it’s a he because unless otherwise told, I always assume main characters are male. Don’t know why I do that.) can’t move or make a sound. Now that sucks.

Nice and impossible. Thanks Blacksmith.

I got the idea of the alleyway from what I took a shortcut through a few days ago. There were some windows at the back of a building and I could see my reflection in them from standing in the middle of the alleywa. It was quite creepy. So, he’s supposed to be lying in the middle, not against a wall. Guess I should have wrote that.