i think you meant "his gaze on the clearing’ and in the second paragraph, ‘puppet hissed’ instead of hiss. Finally, ‘before he Serpent’ i think you left out ‘felt’.

Interesting character this jack, though what does he do? That’s a bit fuzzy here.

Thanks for the help with grammar. The character, Jack, is the current ruler of Limelight, full title: The Jack of Cards and Chance. Need to get around to writing his Ficly.