gah! the spelling! my brain!
once i recover from the onslaught of errors, and trying to stumble through sentences 2 and 5, I see that your story really starts in sentence 7 and the paragraph about the hourglass. Nevertheless, the mangled feet and message on the table and fighting for life are the perfect backdrop for that hourglass of doom.

I hope that the revisions had made it a little better

I agree that the last paragraph is where your story really seems to get rolling. You probably should have started with that and developed it from there.

The lack of context makes me feel like I’m viewing this scene a tiny bit at a time, and the pieces don’t form a coherent whole. This could still use some revision.

I enjoyed reading every piece of this.