A life now thinner

…and it fell limply to my side. My finger considered the trigger; running its length several times as my eyes drown in tears and strained to look through the kitchen wall.

How was it possible for me to no longer comprehend a word so simple and familiar: gone.

I got out the tupperware. No one would be eating dinner tonight. My appetite had fled with a speed that rivaled the exodus of two perfect souls.

My husband would return soon bearing bottles of the girls’ favorite vintage. He would opt for gin with an anguish twist; the bottles of red and white would be racked and stand forever as the fermented symbol of a reunion denied.

The weight of the gun tugged on me suddenly and I dropped it with a start as if I had discovered a snake in my grasp. It clipped the counter top and toppled to the floor with a dull thud and rattle.

It may have fired as it met the floor if I had remembered to take the safety off.

Truth of it was, I knew it was on when it met my temple.

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