hmm, this feels a bit awkward, but I think you wanted them to build a friendship, it just happened too quickly for me. You have a few extra words again, ‘so well’, ‘you are the only person who can see and hear me’ (you already established that with the previous lines)
punctuation: awesome," stated Demetri with… comma after excuse me..
also capitalization errors.
the last line is a great remark though!

Thank you for all the help ElshaHawk I typed up some more chapters I’m curious as to your opinion of them. I think I am at more than halfway through this story now. I have also decided I am going to expand on all this and create a proper novel of this story. Due to ficly’s text amount limitations I had to leave out a large amount of detail as to what happened. There was a lot more happening surrounding this story as well at the time.