I like it, it really leaves me wondering what he did that was so wrong? But felt her joy and freedom and relief, as she drove away.
Very nice entry!

Ooh, that was brutal. Paints a picture of a really tortured relationship. I liked the twist in the end, how we spend the whole piece feeling sorry for him being left by this heartless, user of a woman…then, ooooh, maybe she felt trapped and unhappy in an unhealthy relationship (recasting all that lovelorn stuff as clingy). Really fun psych stuff here.

That first paragraph was a bit hard to follow due to all the fragments, but that’s a style point I think.

Thank you both!

THX I agree that the first is choppy. I had to edit this one quite a bit and I loved the choppiness in the beginning but in the edits it was like, “Oh boy, you might just be overdoing it…” but in some ways I still kinda like it. I don’t know… been a while since I’ve written :)

I agree, love the switch at the end and leaves a lot of questions in the reader’s mind :)

This feels very personal, subjective. It does have a stylistic disconnect, but it reads nicely nonetheless.