I really liked this. Mainly how he is able to sum all this up into this small space of the trampoline. its all right there. And i don’t know why but the last sentence keeps bugging me I know what it means but part of my mind keep thinking they are above the trampoline rather than laying on it.

An odd place to set a story, but it makes sense and is touching nevertheless. I like this lots. Good work.

And on a side note, I think you spelt ‘completely’ in the first line wrongly.

A bit of a slow starter for me but it got its hooks in as it went. Nice use of the trampoline as a symbol. Very sweet and innocent in its focus, yet, if I guess the narrator’s age correctly, completely appropriate. I have to say that the truly satisfying conclusion is the line ending with “…her breathing.” Well done.

nicely done!