Very brutal, man, just brutal. Not sure I take anything away from this other than shock value, but hey, whatever you like to write, write it.

One thing – you should check spelling… “coroner” and “through” are misspelled in the last sentence.

Also, in addition to Mr. Hinds comment, it was supposed to be placed in a fantasy setting.

Just saying.

This story is based in a fantasy setting. Your probably confusing fantasy with every science fiction shows and movies out there, but this is a story of fiction and in a fantasy setting.

First let me state that the horror genre is one of my favorite…I enjoy everthing from HP Lovecraft to Clive Barker, Ambroise Bierce to Stephen King. This fell flat for me because it explictedly stated the gore. Lovecraft said, “Never state an horror when it can be suggested.” Another thing is that there was no motive or suggest plot device that caused Conner to do what he did.

Unfortunately I’m going to give you one of my rare one pencil ratings… 1st for unnecessary gore, and 2nd for not meeting the requirements of fantasy for the challenge

Your defintion of fantasy is wrong…

According to Wikipedia on the Fantasy Genre: “Fantasy is a genre that uses magic and other supernatural phenomena as a primary element of plot, theme, and/or setting.”

Brutal story!

Your use of ‘resisted’ in the first sentence is wrong. I think you meant to something synonymous with ‘presented’.

The last sentence of the first paragraph is also a sentence fragment.

I’d contest your definition of the fantasy genre. In fiction, ‘fantasy’ has a very specific meaning, as Krulltar has already pointed out.

That said, I really enjoyed the visceral nature of this story. My kind of fiction!

Shock for its own value. It reminds me of the “torture-porn” genre of films like “Hostel” and “The Hills Have Eyes,” and that’s not a good thing.