Hey, this is my first Ficly, and I thought I should comment on that, and the fact that I wrote this in about ten minutes. Not to degrade the work or anything, because I actually really like the story I just wrote. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy.

Welcome. Sad story.
May I suggest checking out the ‘challenges’ section. This story could easily be submitted into a category!

Okay! I will! Thanks for the suggestion.

first off: WELCOME TO FICLY!

About this story, at first it seemed a little campy, but overall it worked. It didn’t end up artifically emotional.

My only nitpicks are your use of the word lay, it should be … “they let me lie in the bed she lay in”. Also, a few more linefeeds between the single sentences would have been more visually appeasing.

and get a pic! :)

Thanks! I’ll get one as soon as I can :).
I would have put more linefeeds, but I was literally at 0 characters left with this story xD.

That’s where a little revision works to your advantage. :)

Kind of sadly romantic, bordering on disturbing. Love is a funny thing, and in its extremes absolutely eludes my understanding.

A few grammatical missteps, but otherwise has a nice poetic feel to it.