Your assonance and alliteration are almost excessive, yet agreeable.

The stream of conciousness writing tends into run-on sentences sometimes. But I think the last two sentences of this one are the best constructed out of both this and the prequel, they give great insight into the boy and his attitude.

The run-ons are intended, but if they are too jarring then I’ll work on that.

I like vivid sense of place and time in these two stories. However I really don’t like the first sentence of this one. Aside from running on, which was your intent and manages to work pretty well, I find the phrase “…where old men and young men who made mistakes went…” to be confusing or just nonsensical. Still, I like it overall.

nibbles on your ear

everything will be all right.