I’m sorry…

“Sorry”… man, I hate sayin’ that. No, not when I’m sayin’ ‘sorry’ to apologize fer a fuck up of mine; that’s understandable and takes a big man to admit, ya know?

What I’m talkin’ about, I hate sayin’ “Sorry” when it’s “I’m sorry yer uncle died, sorry ya got a speedin’ ticket, sorry TiVo didn’t record yer show”… Ya know, when I’m apologizin’ fer yer shitty day.

I think it’s a “knee-jerk reactions”—people say it ‘cause it sounds right and they don’t want to be an insensitive prick. But it don’t make sense and, all bullshit aside, feelin’ sorry is not how ya really feel at those times, right? At best, yer sad the person ain’t as happy as you, and, at worst, yer sorry they told ya in the first place.

We should just call it like it is. Next time, when someone says their dog got run over or whatever, instead lyin’ with “sorry”, just state the fact: “That sucks”.

Anyway, pal, it sucks yer wife decided to sleep with me.