It has always been one of my strongest opinions that the Cockney accent was rather vulgar. I instead preferred the softer tones of people who lived even further south than London, in cities like Brighton or Southampton.

So when the news presenter on BBC South Today announced that a man (with a very strong Cockney accent) had been sentenced to 9 years in prison for tricking three Japanese tourists into a Bottomless Pit for the very reasonably price of 2593.06 yen (or 20 British Pounds) each I couldn’t contain my joy.

Not that I was happy that 3 very unsuspecting (and undeserving) Japanese tourists were hurtling downwards till the end of time. Or that they had been conned out of 60 quid. But because this man was locked away it was one less chance of hearing that awful, awful noise.

My glee lasted until the man’s mother started crying into some poor news reporter’s microphone and I had to turn the telly off in case my ears started to bleed.