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The 2 Items (Idea from xkcd.com. Check Them Out!)

I hide a grin as I stand in line. I love this game! The pillow underneath my dress is uncomfortable, but necessary for my ruse. I look down into my purse and grab an onion, the pieces of which I rub on my eyelids. My eyes are full of tears as I walk up to the cashier. She gapes as I take out a pregnancy test and a single coat-hanger

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