Second paragraph, “wren’s” shouldn’t have an apostrophe.

Great story! Sadly contemplative and morose. :)

I like it. The one thing I’m not sure about is that it swells with description and emotion, but it might be a little too much, almost gushy. Mostly I’m talking about the second paragraph. It’s lots of flowery language where I think minimalism might actually work better.

But that’s my opinion, and it’s still a very nice story throughout.

Thanks for the input guys. Gushy and flowery, that’s me.

Actually, to me it feels like some description is missing. Or at least it’s out of order.
“The sun set down in a blanket of orange over rolling hills from which launched night’s silvery orb.” almost sounds like a run on sentence.

Other than that, I love the imagery.

It is not a run-on sentence…just an overly flowery one with too many clauses.

Well, I did say almost.

Heavy. Great 2nd paragraph. The characters seem very real. Great job.