It was the big day, I was going to college. I was finally going to be an adult and do whatever I wanted. I would no longer have to follow my mother’s rules.
I could stay up all night and sleep all day.
I could eat a huge meal and go swim right afterwards. I could run with scissors and swallow my gum.
And underwear? Forget ‘clean’, I was going to go commando!
I was so excited and couldn’t wait for her to leave. She lingered by her sedan, crying and making a fuss, like usual.
“Mom, I love you, but you have to go.”
She nodded sadly and sniffed a bit and then looked me in the eyes.
“I have tried my best to protect you and keep you safe, but now you will be on your own and you’ll be making your own decisions. But I’m about to tell you something that will be of great importance to you and I insist that you listen carefully.”
I looked at her serious face and focused on what she was about to tell me.
She cleared her throat.
“Liquor before beer and you are in the clear. Beer before liquor and you’ll never be sicker.”