Whoooooah!

Didn’t see that coming at all!

It’s hard to surprise me and you did.

Well done!

yeah, i didn’t see that coming either!
really creative, nice work! =D

Well that was a disturbing twist. That first sentence got a bit long, but otherwise well executed.

excellent, and I can totally see that happening, great twist, didn’t expect it, maybe i should have, good job

Thank you all for the feedback!
I’m glad the ‘twist’ got you!
I rearranged that first sentence because yes, it was long. Stupid 1024. =)

(TFB-01-0 points) I agree with the others, clearly this was not only a good entry for the challenge- it was winner! Well deserved and well done. You got me with your twist too. I have some constructive criticism if you don’t mind. If you do ignore the rest! Instead of ‘vehicle’ I think ‘patrol car’ is more specific. I understand that the 1024 limit is a killer but spaces make it easier on the eyes. You could probably drop ‘as the blade twisted into her back’. More impact with less words. No need to hold hands here, it’s obvious what happened. Lastly a very minor detail but for some reason in a little voice seems better than in her little voice. That’s it. I hope that came off as I intended, I think the story itself is quite good. Hope to read some more of yours soon. Cheers!

Mr. Quick… thank you very much for the constuctive criticism. I know I’m not a very strong writer and any bit of information to help me improve is appreciated. Very appreciated. =)