Does this make sense to anyone? I’m utterly lost, but maybe I’m not in on something here.

Finely tuned gibberish- with a history of only that so far. If I had to make a guess it would be one of three things- based on gut feelings I would say that Ficly has been drawn into or used by an ARG (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alternate_reality_game), or this is a cry for attention that you and I are currently indulging, or lastly it was written by someone who thinks they are infinitely more clever than everyone else… I’m going with my intuition though.