Worth sequelling in its own right, this one. May pick it up… I think this one may be a little too hard for a layman to read easily.

Definitely a fair critique on the layman thing, as I was intentionally using jargon for ‘authenticity’. Went too far maybe?

I think the jargon was well used, but I am tainted in that regard. Good story. I can relate to the frustrations of dealing with ROE’s.

I like the fact that I understood none of the techno babble yet still knew what it meant, what was happening. But the Ive had a beginner’s guide to sci-fi technology / army terms through sci-fi films and my friends involvement in the RAF.

Agreed with Shu Sam on the jargon. I understood it, but maybe a little over the top.

I like how you’ve taken it on a course I originally hadn’t concieved, and I’m glad to see all the different perspectives on this challenge. Great entry!

Very authentic-feeling SF… wouldn’t be out of place in a novel. I guess part of the drawback of the Ficly format is you don’t get the chance to read further ahead and gradually find out exactly what particular terms mean!

A well-deserved winner. Congratulations!