Ah, you put it both places. I don’t think that gets you any bonus points…not that you need them.

You know, someone on here had figured out how to post this sort of thing as part of a challenge and as a sequel. I tried it and got this. Sorry for anyone who feels slighted by clicking on the same tale twice.

Hey, if you can teach me how, it’d be great. If they allowed people to post a Ficly in multiple challenges or places, without having to repost, it’d be brilliant :D

Good story too by the way, I like the characterisation of the enemy forces as well. Somehow, the last sentence brings back memories of The Phantom Menace ;)

Excellent. A tad heavy on the science fiction language (and avoid excessive captialisation as it tends to be a bit jarring to the reader), but the dialogue feels natural and militaristic enough to seem real.

I also like how you’ve introduced the opponent with just one line of speech.