I commend you for doing a vital job in order to save lives, but when Lindsay puts me in your care so she can escort the district manager through the facility, it would be great if you cared. You could just quip a fast sport stat or anything that takes my mind off of the big old needle in my arm.

Larry, when the woman in red pants (me) pulls her legs up and places her hand on her forehead in the universal “I’m feeling a little faint” symbol then she (me again) shouldn’t have to say “I’m feeling a little faint” until Lindsay asks you if you noticed I was turning white.

Oh, and when Lindsay puts down my headrest and asks you to support my arm with the really uncomfortable needle in it- you might actually support my arm instead of staring at it.

Larry, I thanked you for removing the needle and for reciting the mantra of keeping my arm dry and doubling fluids in that unconcerned monotone of yours, but you never thanked me for donating blood. Do I remind you of your ex-wife, or is it because it’s Wednesday?