“Liv?” Melina asks.

Her line of sight pivots from the table to rest on my breasts for an instant. Then they travel to the taught flesh covering my collar bone before finally rising to meet my own eyes.

I sigh and turn away. I start thinking about how a real romance with Melina will be nothing like my girlish masturbation fantasies.

Here she is, my best friend. The girl who I utterly adore. The girl who I used to touch myself to after we had spent some time together, or talked on the phone. But now she’s so helpless before me with darting eyes and a growing sense of distress.

Here are her hopes— vulnerable like putty being stretched thinner and thinner the longer my unresponsive silence lingers. She looks like a pathetic puppy, so cute, but so weak and unable. So god damn needy.

But I can’t hurt her. This is Melina. Sexy, smart, kind, Melina. This is the girl I love too much— enough to spend the rest of my life with. The girl I no longer have to protect my true feelings from. Warmth spreads as I say…