This is excellent, if only for Jackalope-Cantaloupe.

haha, this is pretty great, and I would love to write a sequel for it sometime

the idea is just too compelling not to

You’re missing a period at the end there! But this has a really great visual quality to it, very evocative of the scene and the character’s voice. I think the end is a little abrupt/unsatisfying, but it’s hard as heck to keep these under the limit.

I actually just realized that after deleting so many extraneous characters, I can afford a better ending

It at first reminded me of Doc’s lab from Cannery row. Then things got weird. Nice.

Oh I enjoyed horse flies immensely, you managed to depict the strange things very well.

I don’t know if “decoration” needs to be quotation marks, it seems a little overemphasis. Just a little thing.

Hmm… I find myself intrigued. I particularly like the sentence about the wing. Nice job!

This collection of biological oddities starts goofy, but progresses to the creepily dramatic, the latter of which I think fits the tone better. Great read.

Okay, okay. I brought the goofy—just a touch—in my sequel. Your jackantaloupe warmed the cockles of my heart, which is now two sizes too big.

This is really evocative – packs in a lot of story in the space.

Love it.

Very nicely done.

The eccentricity provides a colorful basis for a great character who has lived a lifetime of adventures in a short time. This character could be a great one to expand upon.

I agree with Elsha! I’m personally imagining it as a jumping point for many, many adventures…

And the large wing with the human shoulder is just plain intriguing!

I’m curious to see what sorts of things sprout from this piece. I like the tone that treats bizarre things as fairly normal.