Some palpable anger here, which comes through nicely. You have a run-on sentence or two and soem general structural things that could do with some work. Starting a new paragraph for a different person talking would help that one exchange read a bit more smoothly. Also, the end transistion to talking about mom, then to Sandra was a bit muddy cause you used ‘her’ for both. Not sure the best way to fix, but it all just sort of ran together really quickly, which is too bad cause there’s good stuff in there you could really highlight with structural or minor grammatical changes.

Thanks..