Firstly, welcome back.
This piece is strong on description, but a few things to watch: your comma placement in the first line, repeating ‘fidgeted’, and a few telling words like ‘appeared’ and ‘heartbroken’.
I was looking for a sinister twist, but a broken piece of jewelry could have been tugged on in a rescue attempt..

she said her stepmonster was just gone she didnt see anything

Welcome back!

Definitely some layers in this story. I like it, glad to see you. :)

Welcome back! I agree with Elsha about the commas and slight redundancy, but it’s otherwise good. I was looking for a rift in the girl’s story too, but happy endings are okay.
Sounds like it could be the inspiration for a sequel…
Thanks for entering! :)

Should I know what a ‘tana’ is? Other than not knowing a vocabulary word, I liked it. I’m not sure what forensics report would clarify fall vs shove, but I see where you’re going, laying doubt and alternate possibilities.

Doc its the last letters in hannah montana.

Ooo, spoo-ky.

I had to read it a couple times to get it, but it’s rather good. It would make a really interesting script to say the least. Good job.

Definitely chilling, I like how it’s set up, but I too don’t get the significance of ‘tana’. Why does it matter if it was in her hands? Also: Congrats on the feature!

heh, nobody gets it.. I do!

I could totally see a young dakota fanning or a young abigail breslin playing the little girl in a movie version… children are the epitome of innocence, and to see one so cold and calculated is definately quite chilling… my only complaint is that the hannah montana ring so easily broke….was it one of those plastic kind you get out of a bubble gum machine?

And what’s the deal with no one rating this story. Common people, it’s been featured, you could rate this shite… it’s easy, look to the right of the comment box. 5 pencils = good and 1 pencil = bad… damn, get with the rating system. This ain’t american idol, you can’t text in your vote.

So the ring broke as the stepmother grabbed for the girls hand? Nice one and really calculated .