Amusing set of characters and the high-brow thesaurus work is funny in the setting of a rough and tumble bar. However, inasmuch as you’re using the odd word choices to mock your female character to some extent, you lump yourself in with her by using lucifugous in the narrative and you weaken the contrast by having the guy at the table use tyro. Both let you throw in more fancy words, but it feels like it lets the air out of your characterization a bit in the process.

I agree completely. I just couldn’t figure out how else to stick ‘lucifugous’ and ‘tyro’ in there, so I stuffed them in that way. Torrid, teem, and melee were also in the narrative.

Ah well.

Winner!

I really like this piece. The character is fun, the setting is good, and you used the random words I picked pretty well. Good job.