Quite a few typos. Needs a rework. :)
I agree.
:/ okay..ill edit it.. but um..is it good.. BESIDES the typos?
Yes, there are typos but, this is a good start – maybe it could have been a bit longer, and you could have given us more information about who the characters are and what happens next? I’d read a sequel though – it’s gripping stuff! MH :)
Yes, there are typos but, this is a good start – maybe it could have been a bit longer, and you could have given us more information about who the characters are and what happens next?
I’d read a sequel though – it’s gripping stuff! MH :)
Empty J 
JC Tovil 
Riley 
Mostly Harmless