hm… the line “that probably wasn’t that great of a decision” seems a little, uhm, redundant… like, to many that’s. It could just be me, but it through me for a minute.

Other wise, nice peice.

Time is watching.. we are Time.. we can hear his muttering, she can’t, she’s collapsed, so why does it say ‘I couldn’t believe this guy’? She must come to after the collapse..

jelly legs?