As odd as this is, it makes me think of my librarian… His name is Terry…. I can’t unsee this.

But great story, the last line is the icing on the cake. Tons of great little details thrown in everywhere.

first…sentence…= uncontrollable laughter. I’m really impressed with this one.

I knew you’d like that.

I don’t really understand why she “fell to the floor”. I didn’t know taking off clothes was a euphamism for collapsing…
This is so film noir to me. I read it in black and white :D

PLUS the last thing she said is a stunner.

Great last line, and it is very noir! clever use of the ‘follow up’ and (@PJ) they have obviously agreed upon the position in some way beforehand, so we can’t link the clothing removal to her falling to the floor and hunching over.

The last line was very, very well placed. This was a great story. Nice job!

I really like their interaction, and of course, the
details that really add to the story.

I really like their interaction, and of course, the
details that really add to the story.

Comical. Very much appreciated.

I did enjoy this and it is very noir. I loved it!