brrring “Animal Control Office”

“Hi, um, hello, my name is Winthrop, Winthrop T. Featherbottom. And I, uh, I have an animal, um, problem.”

“That’s what we’re here for, Mr. Featherbottom. What kind of animal?”

“Uh, well, I don’t really know, but it lives in the drain, and has tentacles.”

“Tentacles.”

“Yes, tentacles. And they reach out and grab things – spoons, forks, my mother-in-law’s glassware. Broke it into three pieces, too! She is still hollering at me about it!”

“Tentacles. Lives in the drain.”

“Yes, yes. And it’s getting bigger and stronger, too. I saw a tentacle lash out and grab a rat the other day, it was instantly devoured! And Mum-in-law’s cat, Piddles, hasn’t been seen since Tuesday!”

“Piddles.”

“Well, the cat’s not much missed by the rest of us. But it’s growing bigger! The more it eats the bigger it gets! It might eat one of us soon!”

“Should I send a squad car?”

“Oh, no. Nono, please no. I was just wondering where I could get some more rats.”