“How can you not be proud? You’ve never practiced, never been taught, yet, you do amazing things that people who have trained for years can’t even dream of doing. It’s a gift. Yet, you only ever touch it when you need to, and sometimes not even then. Why?”

It’s the same speech every time and every time I find it more painful. There is no way he can understand. No one should ever lose control so much that they hurt their friends. Every time I hear this the memories come back. I can remember their pain I caused…

“I’ve told you before. I have no need for that kind of power and I’m not proud of what I did. I’d rather have control, and if I ever lose that I don’t want anybodies blood on my hands.”

I won’t be a monster.

“You still can’t let go of that? You’ve told me yourself you didn’t have a choice. They were tearing each other apart. You had to do something, no way around it. They ended in less pain through you than they would have through each other. You need to forgive yourself. You did nothing wrong.”