“My good dear barista, I need some assistance. I’m glum and so chummy in the morning.”

“Why good sir, dear patron, you look quite so boring. Why don’t you take a cup of brown glory?”

“Precisely my friend, that’s just what I need! On such a dreary and dreadful grey day”

“I know what you mean, it’s so crisp and pristine! Please drink all your problems away.”

“Why this coffee is superb, yes magnificent is the word! Please tell me your secret right now!”

“It’s simple, good man, for the secret I can! It’s plants both coca and cacao!”

“Why you devlish little rogue, a drug you did unfold into my morning brew of sustain!”

“Well of course I did, you sloppy old pig! You’re coffee is naught but cocaine!”

“Do you lie or decieve? Is there any truth to believe? You truly spiked my cup of cheer?”

“I dare not lie, and I dare not try, for the truth is I don’t even work here!”

With that, the mysterious barista hopped over the counter and fled the scene of the crime. Him, nor his drugs, were ever found.