Hey THX. I can’t seem to get my head around the first sentence. The rest is real comic stuff. Pow! Bam! Visual comedy.

Oops, typo made it extremely unclear. Thanks for the catch, Marli.

I like where you took this. Many possibilities opened up for a young girl with such power.

Just cuz I think this could easily be made better… “…the grass feeling wet..”

You might want to go with …“the grass felt wet…”

Otherwise good addition with a lot of action taking place. I’ve definitely stepped into the middle of something I know nothing of, but I could still enjoy the scene…so that’s a plus.

A perfect title for a piece fizzing with action – taking the story in a more magical route than ‘witch accusation’ stories often go…

Enjoyed it, even if Nessy’s streetwise dialogue didn’t quite seem to match with her characterisation in the prequel – perhaps her previous shock was a ruse to fool the goons?

Either way, a fun read – MH :)