I could tell he was about to open his mouth again. Richard, that stupid little cunt. Everything he says is just pure vitriolic shit. Why do I hang out with him again? All he ever does is make a damn fool out of himself in front of me and my friends. Oh god, he’s going to start rambling any second now. Dammit.

To say Richard’s the bane of my existence would be an understatement. Thinking of all the friendships I’ve severed, all the bridges I burned, just by being in his presence, I often wonder why I even spend time with this insufferable fool. Because I pity him, yes, that’s what I’ll say to myself, “Because I pity him.”

“Okay, guys, so I thought of a really sweet movie that would be perfect for Will Smith to have the starring role in.”

Oh fuck, he’s begun.