The “rules” weren’t written on paper, nor computer. I found them out on my own over time. The first was sleeping in my bed, and only my bed. I made the mistake of sleeping on the sofa one night, only to awaken to my arm pinned between the couch and the wall. A wall that was several feel away from the couch when I shut my eyes a few hours ago. I felt this odd feeling, that what I was doing was wrong. I can’t explain it now, but I got up on my feet and walked to my bed, where I returned to sleep.

I only fell asleep once on the sofa after that, and that time I woke up with that same feeling, along with a belt and a mark around my neck.

That rule was one of many. Like washing my dishes as soon as I’m done with them, or risk sitting down on a chair to find a safety pin wedged upwards into my back. And like turning the lights off when I leave a room, or risk blowing the fuse to my entire apartment.

Oh, and another rule, guests are not welcome.