I like this story far more than you will ever know. Content-wise, it is full of imagination and emotion. On the constructive criticism side, the three sentences that begin with ‘She’ stand out because they are so close together. I might start the third sentence with ‘Twenty-five now, …’ but as it stands I like your story a lot. Good job! Cheers!
You’re absolutely right Robert, I had a huge struggle trying to cram everything I wanted into this piece and the “She” sentences were a hold over from an earlier version. I shall fix!
You really do pack a lot in here – fae, romance, drama, poetic turns of phrase – I like the italicised sentences, they bookend the piece really nicely…
Reads like it’s straight from the Brothers Grimm – complete with that ending tinged with a little sadness and mystery.