I like the story, but it still feels like you were just starving for an extra line or two at the end.

Yep, the character limit seems to have caught you there. Nice role reversal as to who is dangerous and who isn’t.

With the character limit and all, I hate to have to tell you this – but ‘are you thirty’ needs to be ‘are you thirsty’ – where will that extra letter come from!

Still, an interesting read – you hinted at your twist perhaps a little too early with the Manson lyrics clue, but it was gripping nonetheless – MH :)

It’s always tough cramming a good idea into a small space. I enjoyed how you make it unclear who is the predator at first.

Whoa! Punch in the face! I really like this one. The role reversal makes for an awesome twist ending. I wonder what caused him to sicken like that?

I like the feel of this piece- awesome dialogue! I agree with the others, a couple of lines more could have finished it off with a bang, but nice job nonetheless!

Agreed, great feel and perfect dialog.