cop flashlight (you know, the 4 D-cell type)
4 D-cells
hacksaw
XL pantyhose
drain cleaner
filing cabinet (or maybe a fire safe would be better)
handcuffs
pocket German phrasebook
magnifying glass
tweezers
locking pliers
metal fencing
People magazine
wind-up radio
bottled water
vinegar (largest jug available)
8mm videocasettes
party noisemakers
Ace of Bass greatest hits CD
Nixon mask
cat litter (non-clumping)
nylon kite
100-lb test fishing line
tofu
fireworks
replacement chain for chainsaw

“Uh,” she said, ringing it through, “got plans for the weekend?”

“Not really,” I said. “Just some quiet times at home.”

She smiled, a bit nervously.

“Oh,” I said, “I almost forgot to ask. Do you sell those big heavy-duty garbage bags? All I could find was the kitchen kind.”

She gave me a long, long look. “No,” she said. “But maybe the hardware store on Fifteenth…”

“That’s all right,” I said, “I’ll make do with what I’ve got.” I winked. “I’m runnin’ late as it is.”

She didn’t think I saw her shudder, but I did.