I liked the opening line, how you turned the cliche’ “butterflies in the stomach” into something fresh — angry bees. Descriptions are great & the dialog is tight.

Great situation, especially since I read the sequel first in which he took it a very particular direction. This leaves a bit more up to the imagination. I mean, I can guess, but you left it just vague enough that the Electric Hillbilly was able to run with it.

Thanks THX, I didn’t want the story bogged down with anything which made it obvious how things would turn out so I’m pretty glad that another writer felt free enough to take things into their own hands, especially as they took it in a direction I hadn’t really thought of. my sequel to this is going to be put up in the next few days if all goes well :)