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Annoyance with a Capital Z: Part 1

The movies and comic books never gave an accurate portrayal of the zombie apocalypse. When the dead started walking a few months ago, the world immediately began panicking, assuming that the dead would begin eating the living. After all, that was one of the constants in every zombie movie ever made. In actuality, the dead did nothing of the sort. Instead, they were just a major annoyance.

My first encounter with a zombie was just outside of the front door to our condo. The wife and I had boarded up the doors and windows days earlier, fearful as much as confused about the news we were hearing from Chicago and St. Louis. But when we started to run out of food we had little choice but to poke our heads out into the real world. I had just quietly shut the door behind me when I saw him – a half-rotten man, completely nude, stumbling across the sidewalk. I saw him just a split second before he saw me, and in that instant I wished that I was a gun owner – the baseball bat in my hand instantly felt far too light.

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