Interesting take on the grandfather paradox, I’m likin’ it.

Although, if she killed herself, how’d she get to the future anyway if this thing was her fault in the past?

I hate the word “had” b/c it drops you into passive voice mode and this piece deserves more. “Would” and “have” must go as well, but geez, what a great ficly or is it ficlet I should say? Get rid of passive voice and you probably have the best Ficlet ever written. A 5 despite all the passive voice shizzzzz. : ) I’m a nice hillbilly after all.

Thanks for the feedback, everyone! At TEH, I certainly see what you mean, but I’ve been having some trouble fixing the passive voice whilst keeping with the “back to the past to change the future” theme. And g2, that’s alway the question, isn’t it? ;)

Regarding the voice of the piece, I’d like to direct you to Dr Dan Streetmentioner’s “Time Traveler’s Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations.”

As was reported in the Guide, the book’s recent editions’ last half had been printed blank due to the fact that people would give up around halfway through.

Recently, the publishers realised that a better public service would be to hollow out those pages and provide a pistol with a single bullet to relieve the mind-bending pain one is surely to incur trying to adhere to tense variations regarding time travel.

I didn’t mind the passive voice in the last paragraph because it’s still yet to happen. It would be different if we were to witness this final dance first hand.

I like this piece a great deal, especially the take on paradox you’ve got going on. Excellent work.

Excellent! I love the disparity of the dance imagery and the setting at large… evocative, thought provoking, and a great take on the traditional time traveller’s gambit.

MAN! I think it was a bad idea to take the challenge, epically if your the competition.. :P good story BTW