Get rid of the word “had” (passive voice) and you have a stellar piece here, August. The last paragraph is worth a 5 on its own.
A straightforward and to-the-point critter tale, and “us VS them” minuet in which “we” are set up for a fall by a serious adversary! Good tension.
A straightforward and to-the-point critter tale, and “us VS them” minuet in which “we” are set up for a fall by a serious adversary!
Good tension.
The Electric Hillbilly 
Bob Liddil The Electric Hillbilly Bob Liddil