What The Hell Do You Think I'm Doing!?

I erupt, “What the hell do you think I’m doing!? Of course I’m going to work!” Silence.

I locate my shoes— the last step to completing my attire. I kneel down to tie them, feeling remorseful for shouting back at her. We both know that today is just like any other. When we depart there is always a chance we won’t rejoin. We’ve taken steps to assure a good bye, even when it’s hard. And, if it’s right, a kiss that has something sweet to say through its lips.

I stand pressing a knee into the mattress and lean over her. “I’m leaving now. Good bye, sweetheart.” I try for a quick peck but she’s quicker with an escaping cheek.

It doesn’t upset me. Through it all I know that she’ll be glad I tried to. Later, when we return to one another, we’ll cook dinner and everything will be fine.

I keep my face close for a few seconds more. Seconds that I don’t even remotely have. Then she turns and gives in on that kiss.

“I love you”, she says.

Oh, dear God, I think— not knowing if I feel the same way.


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