[tries and fails to resist singing, "Jenny’s got a gun … "] Seriously, though, a nice scene. Her uncertainty works in a way that drives the momentum instead of bogging it down. If I were nitpicking, I’d admit that this: This gun had seen a life time worth of action. She could be the latest chapter, starting tonight. threw me for a second because it seems like a mixed metaphor. Overall, an intriguing piece with lots of possibilities for what comes before and after. Thanks for sharing it.
[tries and fails to resist singing, "Jenny’s got a gun … "]
Seriously, though, a nice scene. Her uncertainty works in a way that drives the momentum instead of bogging it down.
If I were nitpicking, I’d admit that this:
This gun had seen a life time worth of action. She could be the latest chapter, starting tonight.
threw me for a second because it seems like a mixed metaphor.
Overall, an intriguing piece with lots of possibilities for what comes before and after. Thanks for sharing it.
Elizabeth Gallenberg Elizabeth Gallenberg