Nicely told, a little observational, thoughtful piece. I don’t remember styles well enough to comment on that, but it certainly doesn’t feel like your usual stuff. Killer ending, really set up well to have a good punch to it. Only nitpick would be that I didn’t quite follow, “…deepest wrinkles you’d ever bare,” what you meant by that.

I mean that faces are naked, we bare them everyday— It’s a way to make people aware of this detail that isn’t really considered or acknowledged often (and they are the deepest wrinkles they’d ever be because he doesn’t age further, he dies). It’s also a variant of saying ‘bore’, which would have ACTUALLY made sense haha… but how you change and add to the language and create new meanings is by taking risks like this… even still I think that what I mean is clear enough even if the wording is strange… even though people will say hold on the sec.! and I appreciate that you did so, so that I could explain.

I definately see a part of me in this. I think I write quite personally and imagine myself as a charcter. Somehow, I feel like the old man here.

Is it self obssessive to make this the winner?

No, as long as it won for more than just because I stole your scribing swagger. Christ, PJ, I entered 5 times, if anyone is obsessed here it’s most likely me :P haha.
Woo-hoo I beat myself 4 times, take that ‘less-than-Tad’, you loser!

Challenge conditions aside, this really is an extraordinarily moving piece of writing – MH :)

FANTASTIC! You already know I am a fan. I could feel the heat of your earl grey on my skin. Man, you gotz the talent. I am interested in cowriting somthing with you if you have the inkling.

I’d be honored to collaborate with you, Electric. but I don’t want to force anything, mainly because that’s not how inspiration works. And you should know that I always hold true on a collaborative effort initially, but after a ficly or two I tend to fade away. I always need something new for whatever reason, that’s just me. So if you’d still like to collaborate I’m game ;)