Nice rhythm to it, and I couldn’t resist the title. love the message at the end too…well, not so much the blue balls, but the ‘walk on through’.

The rhyme, rhythm, and form in your stuff is compelling. The title was perfect and the rhymes flow like butta. Although I’m a hillbilly from Alabama, I’m also a rap fan. Can’t help but think your skillz with the quilz wouldn’t be cool with something dark — sorta like a Killah Priest rap…. For example:

“I’m hell spawned, drawn near the Hell’s gate. The Indian lady warned me an old man, with pale face. She said forked tongue makes painful kisses. And Priest, when you talk, all the angels listen”

Sorry bout the long comment. Just wanted to say I like it!

Electric, Thank you for the long comment! I’ve written my ‘ridiculously long’ share of comments too, haha. One time I wrote a comment that was darn near longer than the ficly itself. I know of killah priest, and I’ll take your suggestion to heart, my man.

Glad you will take it to heart. I respektz your talent and would love to see you “zpearment” with the darker sidez of yo rhymez… Though what I like about Killah’ Priest is the christian nuances. I’m sure you get my point. You are one cool guy, Tad. Enjoy your friendship here at Ficly!

girl powah! lol, nice advice. It’s a power ballad with a good message, to stay true.